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Almost Famous Artist

January 26, 2013

I am listening to Ubud’s Geoff Lundstrum. Guy and his guitar, mellow, I sit down at Gecko and he plays Cyndi Lauper’s Time After Time. I ask him what his favourite song to play is. “Rock,” he says, “but,” I am the only customer in this seven-table restaurant, “Not here,” I finish, saying I understand, I play at home too. My favourite song? I don’t have one but there are songs that you think you do best, yes? One of those?” “You like Adele?” Yes, and he plays the only Adele song I nail solo – Someone Like You – lost my potential opening for the same song, ha, and the slow, plucking style becomes a pattern for each song. His phrasing is like Geoff’s, like Ryan Adams’ (sorry Geoff) – mellow and kind, but he has a lower range, poor microphone usage, and is not nearly as spot on or confident as Geoff. Nice enough to listen to while I write though, and he’s singing English songs for a crowd of three now . The competition is fierce in that, according to the cajón player from the first night, “Here they are bred with music I am not from here.”

Nasi Orti band

Koko plays almost every night at different bars and says no often. Crowd of five now. Time for Coldplay. A couple songs later, crowd of three, one clapper (oui, yours truly). Oasis time – I just started doing this one – Wonderwall. “I don’t believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now,” – awesome line. “I know you’ve heard it all before but you never really had a doubt,” – I dig the solidity, the realism.

And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don’t know how
Because maybe you’re gonna be the one that saves me.
After all, you’re my wonderwall
.

laughing buddha

Aint’ No Sunshine – my legs still itch and prickle. And the guy has no finish – kind of like me. One of the other two customers requests Red Red Wine and sings a bit of it. “How about… ? Lots of people can play that here, yah? How about No Woman, No Cry? Lots of people can play that here, yah?” the Aussie keeps trying and succeeds on the Marley front.

Every little ting is gonna be al-light
Every little ting is gonna be al-light
Every little ting is gonna be al-light
No woman, no cry

Back up to an audience of five. Yep – Marley brings ’em in – audience of seven.. And back to some Ryan Adams-, Geoff Lundstrom-sounding ballad..with a bit of David Gray nasally tone. Without judging caliber, it takes me home.

There is a delicacy here, to eat the soft skin around a cow’s nose –
no cow’s nose, no try
.

Unsent letter to a music friend:
I don’t know what i want to do. with music. and how to earn my living meaningfully. musically i do vaguely – make great music, but how to get from where i’m at to gather the motivation, drive, want, inspiration to go to next level – fewer, bigger shows, a recording that’s even better than the last, to be excited and have others excited about it. the past months i’m resisting – i really feel and believe in my music and voice sometimes, but sometimes i wonder if the business is for me. i want to succeed at it but i’d rather make great music than lose the soul or depth i’d like to think i (we) can infuse. i’m clouded by thoughts of generativity and wanting great love, to give and share, maybe a kid or two in 2 years. not be in service industry. have been thinking about doing physio, or Jo’s suggested music therapy in Haiti! though both are probably years of school. Just time management, I guess. I want to have a weekly practice, focused work on material. And I want to get a jazz trio or quartet going. I miss jazz. Plus music is so fun sometimes and many bliss or all-is-good moments.

I want more. More love. More music. More clarity and progress, fulfillment and satisfaction. What’s wrong with a little self-actualization?

Buddha

I want more. From some people, from myself. For the past six months. Start stop. Approach avoid. I’m like a stalled truck at times, like a kid not wanting to go to the first day of school. But I’m not a kid.
I’m vacationing, while at home I need to start a new job, pay off what I’m spending now, write great songs, book shows, get into festivals, get a grant, and also sort out some personal matters.

How to reconcile deep-seated beliefs about how the world works
and how we ought to be with our surroundings and who we are today?
Less drinking, less confusion, more healthy, more focus.

First jaunt out of the country in two years. After years of devoting to my music. Feels really good, this ocean view, this Balinese breeze.
Not sure what I am coming back to, or what I want to come back to.
I have some grand goals, sought after changes regarding home, love and career for this year. If I don’t do the necessary leg work, it won’t get done: the undeniable facts of running your own show – but so it goes with us all, self-management of our lives.

I want to live more responsibly. More sobriety, exercise, reading, writing, playing. The earnings and ideals will come.

p.s. as it goes, my life is pretty dang awesome:)

Mainski Me

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